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So ALOT has happened since my last bloggin attempt. For one, it was summer. We were busy going to the pool, and playdates, and counting down the days until school started for The Monsters... Then IT happened. The event that not only transformed the summer but also completely transformed our lives as we knew it.
The *drumroll* FIRE *gasp OMG*. Sorry. Its just that is the reaction that we seem to get, quickly followed by nosy questions about our insurance what we lost, do we need anything. Not that I'm not greatful.. I am immensly greatful that people care, and are willing to help out where they can. BUT it really isn't an invitation to tell me what YOU think about my life, or what should be done, or how I should just be greatful we were all ok.
Let me back up a minute here, as I got ahead of myself. We had a fire. The fire was set by my oldest Monster. He was 4. It was an ACC-I-DENT! NO, my husband and I don't smoke.. We have lighters for 3 things: The GRILL (it was summer omg!), Candles (they smell nice), and I do crafts that sometimes require ribbon or other things to be sealed. Where he got the lighter.. we aren't sure. Did we punish him? What do YOU think? Should I punish a 4 year old who lost literally EVERYTHING in his room. His room is a charred out mess. What can I do to punish him.. take something away? what? um beat him.. I. Don't. Think. So. We are doing alot of focusing on fire safety, so that it will never happen again. don't like my decision.. bite me.
Okay so we had the fire.. One room was burned out.. the rest of the house was smoke and water damaged.. We estimate that we lost somewhere around 60,000$ worth of personal property. There is over 100,000 worth of damage to the house.. Needless to say.. we aren't living there. Our insurance is paying our rent on a house right down the road from our old one.
We've been trying to regroup and move on. I try not to dwell on what we lost, but focus on what we didn't lose. I love my family, and my children. Now that school has started, I have alot more time thinking about what we lost.. Doesn't help that i have to inventory every. single. item. in my home. This is an overwhelming and enormous task. So that is why I haven't been blogging, and probably won't be real on it for awhile.
LOTS OF LOVE!
The *drumroll* FIRE *gasp OMG*. Sorry. Its just that is the reaction that we seem to get, quickly followed by nosy questions about our insurance what we lost, do we need anything. Not that I'm not greatful.. I am immensly greatful that people care, and are willing to help out where they can. BUT it really isn't an invitation to tell me what YOU think about my life, or what should be done, or how I should just be greatful we were all ok.
Let me back up a minute here, as I got ahead of myself. We had a fire. The fire was set by my oldest Monster. He was 4. It was an ACC-I-DENT! NO, my husband and I don't smoke.. We have lighters for 3 things: The GRILL (it was summer omg!), Candles (they smell nice), and I do crafts that sometimes require ribbon or other things to be sealed. Where he got the lighter.. we aren't sure. Did we punish him? What do YOU think? Should I punish a 4 year old who lost literally EVERYTHING in his room. His room is a charred out mess. What can I do to punish him.. take something away? what? um beat him.. I. Don't. Think. So. We are doing alot of focusing on fire safety, so that it will never happen again. don't like my decision.. bite me.
Okay so we had the fire.. One room was burned out.. the rest of the house was smoke and water damaged.. We estimate that we lost somewhere around 60,000$ worth of personal property. There is over 100,000 worth of damage to the house.. Needless to say.. we aren't living there. Our insurance is paying our rent on a house right down the road from our old one.
We've been trying to regroup and move on. I try not to dwell on what we lost, but focus on what we didn't lose. I love my family, and my children. Now that school has started, I have alot more time thinking about what we lost.. Doesn't help that i have to inventory every. single. item. in my home. This is an overwhelming and enormous task. So that is why I haven't been blogging, and probably won't be real on it for awhile.
LOTS OF LOVE!
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Have you ever had one of those days where you want to just throw in the towel and say "Eff it" except you use the whole word? I've been feeling that way alot lately. Its not really anyone's fault. As easy as it would be to blame it on someone else, I have to take a good portion of responsibility upon myself.
As a person, you set certain goals for yourself, that you hope or wish to accomplish. Lately I've been looking forward and backward (probably a little too much). I haven't accomplished ANYTHING that I wanted to. Nothing. No college degree, No published book, No Military Career (Ok.. granted that was shot down when I was 19 and permanently damaged my legs). I've accomplished other things.. I'm a wife (twice over, but we won't talk about my ill fated first marriage), I am a mother (to three gorgeous children that only make me want to run away screaming a few times a day).
Sometimes its a daily struggle to find myself worthwhile, which of course makes it difficult for others to find me worthwhile. Or maybe I'm just seeing it through these warped contacts. I don't know. All I know is, is that there are days where I feel under-appreciated, and like I put MY life on hold for everyone else. My life revolves around my husband and children, and somehow somewhere I got lost along the way. People used to think I was smart. Now my daily conversation is based upon food, either what I ate, what we are going to eat, or what I fed the kids and how healthy or unhealthy it was; bowel movements.. if you aren't a mom, you probably won't understand that one; sleep patterns (mine and the baby's), oh and possibly some tv program, how many fights and over what I had to break up, and maybe just maybe if I was adventurous and I took the monsters somewhere. I know exciting right?
I miss talking politics and religion, and generally conversating with someone who is an adult. I love my kids. I love my husband, too as far as that goes, but conversating with him is like trying to talk to a brick wall sometimes. I never planned on the whole kids/family thing, so sometimes I'm a little stumped as far as how I got here. I guess at this point, I'm done making plans, and I'm just going to sail through on a wing and a prayer, and hope it all turns out okay.
Still it would be nice to be told that I'm awesome, that I did or am doing a good job. Because this IS work. Being the primary caretaker of three children is hard work. Shoot, days that we get by with no major incident, I'm proud. Holding it all together sometimes takes every bit of love, and all the duct tape in my house.
And maybe someday I'll get around to that Degree, and that book that I want to write. Heck even if it never got published I'd feel accomplished just having wrote it. Tomorrow is another day. Right?
Love you More Tomorrow. :)
As a person, you set certain goals for yourself, that you hope or wish to accomplish. Lately I've been looking forward and backward (probably a little too much). I haven't accomplished ANYTHING that I wanted to. Nothing. No college degree, No published book, No Military Career (Ok.. granted that was shot down when I was 19 and permanently damaged my legs). I've accomplished other things.. I'm a wife (twice over, but we won't talk about my ill fated first marriage), I am a mother (to three gorgeous children that only make me want to run away screaming a few times a day).
Sometimes its a daily struggle to find myself worthwhile, which of course makes it difficult for others to find me worthwhile. Or maybe I'm just seeing it through these warped contacts. I don't know. All I know is, is that there are days where I feel under-appreciated, and like I put MY life on hold for everyone else. My life revolves around my husband and children, and somehow somewhere I got lost along the way. People used to think I was smart. Now my daily conversation is based upon food, either what I ate, what we are going to eat, or what I fed the kids and how healthy or unhealthy it was; bowel movements.. if you aren't a mom, you probably won't understand that one; sleep patterns (mine and the baby's), oh and possibly some tv program, how many fights and over what I had to break up, and maybe just maybe if I was adventurous and I took the monsters somewhere. I know exciting right?
I miss talking politics and religion, and generally conversating with someone who is an adult. I love my kids. I love my husband, too as far as that goes, but conversating with him is like trying to talk to a brick wall sometimes. I never planned on the whole kids/family thing, so sometimes I'm a little stumped as far as how I got here. I guess at this point, I'm done making plans, and I'm just going to sail through on a wing and a prayer, and hope it all turns out okay.
Still it would be nice to be told that I'm awesome, that I did or am doing a good job. Because this IS work. Being the primary caretaker of three children is hard work. Shoot, days that we get by with no major incident, I'm proud. Holding it all together sometimes takes every bit of love, and all the duct tape in my house.
And maybe someday I'll get around to that Degree, and that book that I want to write. Heck even if it never got published I'd feel accomplished just having wrote it. Tomorrow is another day. Right?
Love you More Tomorrow. :)
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Wake up to bickering children, followed by the wail of the Diva, since the monsters woke her up to. Upon getting up hear whining and crying on two fronts from the Monsters... usually consisting of a combination of He hit me.. ect and I'm Humbry (that is how the 3yr old says hungry). I am followed to the bathroom hearing it, then to the Diva's room. Put Diva in the Highchair, convince the oldest one to spoon feed her cereal, while attempting to get the Monsters breakfast down. The Middle Monster, then changes his mind 3 times about which cereal he'd rather eat and whether or not he'd like milk. FINALLY, baby fed, monsters fed.... time for a break right???
Then it really starts.. MOM, I wanna go to the splash park, I wanna play outside, I wanna wanna wanna. I look at the clock.. its still prior to 8 am. SIGH. I force them to their room to watch cartoons and play for awhile. Honestly its just variations of this all day. Quit fighting, Share, Stop Running, Don't Don't DON'T.
this is how our day has started EVERYDAY since school let out.. When will the school year arrive to rescue me? sad thing is that the Monsters will both be in preschool, but only for 1/2 a day.. but hey that's something right?
I had such high hopes for Summer.. Educational but fun activities for the kids.. a Home-Summer School program.. I don't know WHY I was deluding myself... Apparently those idyllic summers only exist in childhood. It makes me wish for the beach, and a LARGE margharita. Ah well.. maybe tomorrow will be different?? one can hope right?
So what are everyone's plans for Father's Day? I think we are sticking close to home, going to the community fair, maybe sending Daddy and the Monsters somewhere so me and the Diva don't have to leave the comfort of AC. Its supposed to be a hot weekend.
Then it really starts.. MOM, I wanna go to the splash park, I wanna play outside, I wanna wanna wanna. I look at the clock.. its still prior to 8 am. SIGH. I force them to their room to watch cartoons and play for awhile. Honestly its just variations of this all day. Quit fighting, Share, Stop Running, Don't Don't DON'T.
this is how our day has started EVERYDAY since school let out.. When will the school year arrive to rescue me? sad thing is that the Monsters will both be in preschool, but only for 1/2 a day.. but hey that's something right?
I had such high hopes for Summer.. Educational but fun activities for the kids.. a Home-Summer School program.. I don't know WHY I was deluding myself... Apparently those idyllic summers only exist in childhood. It makes me wish for the beach, and a LARGE margharita. Ah well.. maybe tomorrow will be different?? one can hope right?
So what are everyone's plans for Father's Day? I think we are sticking close to home, going to the community fair, maybe sending Daddy and the Monsters somewhere so me and the Diva don't have to leave the comfort of AC. Its supposed to be a hot weekend.
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I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend. Saturday we went to the River and BBQ'ed with my parents, and friends. Sunday we went to a birthday party, and Monday we spent relaxing at home. Of course with it being Memorial Day, we talked to the kids alot about what the Day meant, and why it was so important. I don't think that they get the point of honoring our soldiers,but they are getting there!
Today I had PLANNED on staying home, getting to the housework that I've been procrastinating all weekend, and being productive, intead, I took the kids to the splash park, then afterwords we went to McDonald's play place, and had ice cream. All in all we may not have been productive but we had a great time.
Two more days until the Diva's EKG.. I'm getting nervous, but I'm also really just wanting to find SOMETHING out!
Today I had PLANNED on staying home, getting to the housework that I've been procrastinating all weekend, and being productive, intead, I took the kids to the splash park, then afterwords we went to McDonald's play place, and had ice cream. All in all we may not have been productive but we had a great time.
Two more days until the Diva's EKG.. I'm getting nervous, but I'm also really just wanting to find SOMETHING out!
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I didn't even last a week, with the "I'm gonna update everyday thing". I took the weekend off to spend it with my husband and children. We needed it. I missed Army wives on sunday, so I watched it tonight. There are definitely times when I can empathize with Pamela. When is enough, enough... and when is not enough, TOO much??
I couldn't even imagine having my husband just disappear for unknown quatities of time like Chase does.. Its hard enough with him being here in the states, with crappy hours. DH's hours are from 3:40 am when his alarm sounds off, to 7 or 8 pm when he comes draggin in from work, eats a quick dinner, tucks the kids into bed, and then heads for shower and bed himself so that he can get up and do it all again the next day. There are definitely days where I don' feel important, and I certainly don't feel like a priority in his life. I feel alot of times like I just get his left overs, and sometimes that really sucks!
The "new" Army says its family oriented, but its really not. At least it doesn't feel that way when you are the one playing the hurry up and wait game.
But anyway LOL. Had a great weekend even though I waited on pins and needles for Monday to come around so that the hospital would call me with a date for Miss Thing's EKG. Monday came and went. The hospital called, and apparently I'll have to be a little more patient, as she's not scheduled until June 3rd. On top of it all the boys have been horrible. They have been fighting like cats and dogs.. Here's to hoping the week gets smoother!! :)
I couldn't even imagine having my husband just disappear for unknown quatities of time like Chase does.. Its hard enough with him being here in the states, with crappy hours. DH's hours are from 3:40 am when his alarm sounds off, to 7 or 8 pm when he comes draggin in from work, eats a quick dinner, tucks the kids into bed, and then heads for shower and bed himself so that he can get up and do it all again the next day. There are definitely days where I don' feel important, and I certainly don't feel like a priority in his life. I feel alot of times like I just get his left overs, and sometimes that really sucks!
The "new" Army says its family oriented, but its really not. At least it doesn't feel that way when you are the one playing the hurry up and wait game.
But anyway LOL. Had a great weekend even though I waited on pins and needles for Monday to come around so that the hospital would call me with a date for Miss Thing's EKG. Monday came and went. The hospital called, and apparently I'll have to be a little more patient, as she's not scheduled until June 3rd. On top of it all the boys have been horrible. They have been fighting like cats and dogs.. Here's to hoping the week gets smoother!! :)
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My 6month old daughter, The Diva, has been having weight issues... as in she's not gaining weight at the rate that the pediatrician would like. We had our follow up weigh-in today and she has gained almost a pound, which is GREAT! Unfortunately she's also having some other medical issues. Her feet keep turning blue. This coupled with the lack of weight gain have her pediatrician worried that she might have something wrong with her heart, so next week my baby girl gets to get an EKG. More or less it boils down to a very very worried Mommy, who is praying desperately for SOMETHING to go right!
Sorry for the lack of humor looking on the situation.. More than likely its nothing, but I am (admittedly) a worrier by nature. I love my monster's soo much.. all three of them, that I can't bear the thought of something being wrong with them that a bandaid or tylenol can't fix. it seems as though every day around here is an adventure.. I don't know about YOU all, but I know that I could do with a little bit of boring for awhile. Happily.
Sorry for the lack of humor looking on the situation.. More than likely its nothing, but I am (admittedly) a worrier by nature. I love my monster's soo much.. all three of them, that I can't bear the thought of something being wrong with them that a bandaid or tylenol can't fix. it seems as though every day around here is an adventure.. I don't know about YOU all, but I know that I could do with a little bit of boring for awhile. Happily.
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So here in lovely Misery... um.. Missouri, school has just gotten out for the summer for my preschooler. Yesterday was his last day, and what does the sky do? Why it opens up and is pouring down the rain accompanied by a sound and light show! What a wonderful way to start off summer vacation. Instead of going to the pool, or playing outdoors, they kids are sentenced to boredom indoors. They probably wouldn't be that bored, if they hadn't managed to get TV taken away, but they did; for fighting. And since they are so bored, its going to be a vicious circle. The tv got. taken away because they were fighting because its been raining for the last few weeks and they've been stuck indoors, but now they are going to fight more because they don't even have the distraction of the television to keep them amused.
Who thought of this whole summer vacation thing?? Whoever it was should be kicked. Really hard! I would be much happier if they went to school year round. SIGH!
I guess I better get inventive.. quickly. I have a tutu order to get done by this weekend. I have to keep the boys amused, and The Diva (my 6 month old daughter) has a pediatric follow-up on friday morning... and the forecast looks as if it will be another Mommy adventure of dragging 2 preschoolers along with us. FUN. I guess I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best. Okay.. It is 1 AM (10 til anyway) so I am going to attempt to find somewhere to sleep, since the Middle Monster kicked me out of my bed.
Night.. and here's hoping that the sun will decide to make an appearance before I lose my ever-lovin mind.
CarrieAnn
Who thought of this whole summer vacation thing?? Whoever it was should be kicked. Really hard! I would be much happier if they went to school year round. SIGH!
I guess I better get inventive.. quickly. I have a tutu order to get done by this weekend. I have to keep the boys amused, and The Diva (my 6 month old daughter) has a pediatric follow-up on friday morning... and the forecast looks as if it will be another Mommy adventure of dragging 2 preschoolers along with us. FUN. I guess I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best. Okay.. It is 1 AM (10 til anyway) so I am going to attempt to find somewhere to sleep, since the Middle Monster kicked me out of my bed.
Night.. and here's hoping that the sun will decide to make an appearance before I lose my ever-lovin mind.
CarrieAnn
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We all set out to start a blog and have it be witty and funny. Something to garner followers to actually read what you are writing. Somehow that rarely happens.. Everytime I read someone's hilarity, it makes me compare to my own life, and find that HEY funny stuff happens to me too.. sadly I think I'm the only one amused.
Anyway, I figured I'd start this blog, to exercise my daily frustrations, to house my project 365, and to generally make myself write. My goal is to update at least once a day. ((Hehehe! that in itself is hilarious because 1. Summer is here 2. I have 3 children under Five 3. I am a procrastinator in the extreme!)
Anyway, since mostly this blog will probably be devoted to my children's mishaps, then I named it More and More Tomorrow. The URL is http://loveyoumoretommorrow.blogspot.com/ . The reason for this is that while I was growing up, when it seemed my mom was at her wits end she would tell us:
I love you whole bunches, all the time, everyday, a whole lot, too much, and more and more tomorrow.
When the grandkids came along she added Forever and Always NO MATTER WHAT to the end.
I find myself repeating this constantly because (yes you can admit it) there are days when as Mom's (or parents) that we are ALL at our wits end. There are days when we don't WANT to love anybody, except maybe a break. This little sentence sometimes saves my sanity, and even better.. Its TRUE! I do love them that much. I love them enough to try and move heaven and earth, no matter how impossible that may be or seem. I love them so much that sometimes it DOES hurt me to punish them, more than it hurts them.
So that is my Mom's legacy of LOVE that I am passing on to all of you.
Carrie Ann
Anyway, I figured I'd start this blog, to exercise my daily frustrations, to house my project 365, and to generally make myself write. My goal is to update at least once a day. ((Hehehe! that in itself is hilarious because 1. Summer is here 2. I have 3 children under Five 3. I am a procrastinator in the extreme!)
Anyway, since mostly this blog will probably be devoted to my children's mishaps, then I named it More and More Tomorrow. The URL is http://loveyoumoretommorrow.blogspot.com/ . The reason for this is that while I was growing up, when it seemed my mom was at her wits end she would tell us:
I love you whole bunches, all the time, everyday, a whole lot, too much, and more and more tomorrow.
When the grandkids came along she added Forever and Always NO MATTER WHAT to the end.
I find myself repeating this constantly because (yes you can admit it) there are days when as Mom's (or parents) that we are ALL at our wits end. There are days when we don't WANT to love anybody, except maybe a break. This little sentence sometimes saves my sanity, and even better.. Its TRUE! I do love them that much. I love them enough to try and move heaven and earth, no matter how impossible that may be or seem. I love them so much that sometimes it DOES hurt me to punish them, more than it hurts them.
So that is my Mom's legacy of LOVE that I am passing on to all of you.
Carrie Ann
